September 19, 2001
R.D. Kushner

At first I felt lucky. But that sentiment has faded. I had felt lucky to have been so geographically close to this disaster without knowing personally even one person who was killed. But now, as the smiling faces of the missing peer out at me from phone booths, bus stops, and storefront windows, I no longer feel lucky; I feel helpless and empty and alone.

copyright © 2001, the author

Last week the sound of a siren on the street was an acoustical inconvenience and represented an isolated event for which there was no empathy; my eyes never even acknowledging the flashing lights as they made their way through crowded streets to destinations unknown. Last week you couldn't guess the conversation between two complete strangers on the street, but today you know. The collective conscious is, for a moment, united in scrutinizing the current event of the week. Will it last long enough to make a difference, or will Temptation Island and shark attacks be back on our minds again next week? Our conscience seems to follow the news of the hour; as television is programmed back to entertainment trivialities, will we be programmed in turn?

copyright © 2001, the author

Lucky. But that doesn't really describe that faded sentiment. This luck was not accompanied by a long exhalation of relief at having just barely avoided a minor misfortune. I am left holding my breath; afraid to take the next step; anticipating and speculating about the possibility that what I have just avoided may look trivial when compared to the events forecast for tomorrow.

This week as I gawk at the toothless downtown skyline, I realize that I have lost my bearings. The physical existence of the Twin Towers was my magnetic south; it was my compass - my eyes automatically scanned a long line between the Twin Towers to the south and the Empire State Building to the north. For now the plume of smoke that still rises helps me to locate a skyline that I have never seen before. Minor sixty story buildings sit nameless like ancient tombstones in a graveyard.

copyright © 2001, the author

Lucky. Do you think that you are? Do you think that you can get back to "normal" as if this was some kind of natural disaster that couldn't be avoided? Amid the cowboy talk of taking Osama bin Laden "dead or alive" and "waging war on terrorism" remember that this rhetorical posturing masks the enormous sacrifices that lie ahead. Our leaders will soon ask some of our brothers, children, and friends to sacrifice their lives for our freedom to live safe and impregnable lives.

Next week our leaders will have rallied a world against terrorism; a world that they have just recently snubbed on issues of Global Warming, Missile Defense, and Biological Weapons Research. As our leaders seek broad support to end terrorism [which they until recently tolerated as long as it wasn't on our own soil] let us hope that our actions are as meticulously considered as they are decisive, and as cautiously executed as they are deliberate. That we are preparing to fight a country which owes its existence to the military support it received from our country in a Cold War battle against Communism, should be a reminder of just how complicated this battle will continue to be.

Lucky. We just might be. But it is up to us.