K. David
April 24, 2002

I don't know whether to be nostalgic or disgusted by the reappearance of my teenage idol Ozzy Osbourne.

If the success of the TV show "The Osbournes," indicates the American public's insatiable appetite for "reality" television [Temptation Island, et alia] then perhaps the next reality television show will be "The Arafats."

And why not? American culture is so entertainment inebriated that it might find Yasser's day to day life quite interesting. The American media has already demonstrated its infatuation with Mr. Arafat's wellbeing [no doubt based on the American public's obsession with this issue - or is it vice versa?] as he has been insolated in his Ramallah compound by the Israeli military. Why not have MTV set up a couple of cameras and provide subtitles in English; and French and German and Spanish subtitles too - the European Union loves Arafat almost as much as Ariel Sharon hates him.

The money brought in from such a show would provide hundreds of millions of dollars in advertising revenue for the Palestinian people, and at the same time [more importantly] the American public would be tremendously entertained. MTV could then be credited for bringing peace to the region through economic diplomacy, and the American public could congratulate itself for providing advertising capital by way of their riveted, bulging, television-fixated eyes.

Then, when peace settles in the region after MTV reports its second quarter earnings, Ozzy could go to Jerusalem and perform "Crazy Train" with Arafat and Sharon singing backup. Suicide bombers will become a thing of the past, and the chant, "Death to Israel," will be replaced with, "I want my MTV."