Konrad Switters
June 19, 2002

The Supreme Court ruled on Monday, that the Constitution protects the right of missionaries, politicians, and others to knock on doors without first getting permission from local authorities.

The case was filed on behalf of Jehovah's Witnesses in Stratton, Ohio. The Jehovah's Witnesses case was based on their belief, upheld by the Supreme court, that as long as you're intention is free speech you do not need permission to enter onto a person's private property.

Moderate Muslims around the world rejoiced in the ruling, stating that plans for house to house suicide bombings could now be avoided. A high level aid to Mr. Arafat stated that this new ruling would allow for a more formal approach to achieving their anti-American agenda.

Because free speech is protected, Al Qaeda sympathizers will now be able to approach private homes while shouting slogans like, "I don't have a bomb this time, but please answer the door and confront the immoral ways of the global, political and economic hegemony being imposed by your capitalist gentry; everyone knows that this destructive and villainous agenda is transparently couched under the guise that it is a pure and democratic process that is designed to elevate all of the world - while what it really does is concentrate power and money in the hands of a few powerful American corporations which coerce government stooges to do their bidding through heavy lobbying, in order to gain further power and money by getting access to the natural resources of the people whose countries and political structures their government hungrily destroys."

The White House response to such separatist rhetoric is predictable: "The war on terror must be fought until all terrorism around the world is eliminated, so that the elected king of Capital Hill can continue to impose his Napoleonic will on the minions of the world."

So as you wave your American flag and soak up the media banter about the wonders of the Constitution, the freedom of Democracy, and the "war" on terror, remember that the next time you hear that rap on your door, someone might be selling encyclopedias, salvation, or free speech; and you can plug your ears, or hide behind the curtains, but you can't stop them from knocking.